Atomized

Atomized.

 

Blown to smithereens.

Blown to bits with bomb-like force.

 

Everyone involved

The “guilty”

& the “innocent” alike

 

Damaged

Changed utterly

Unable to properly reassemble themselves

 

How could it be otherwise?

 

Casualties of war

Every last one of us.

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Resurrected!

<May 4/16.>

I feel … “human” again today.

 

Yesterday was not a good day.

I felt like I was spinning.

I was sad.

I was anxious.

I felt like a mess, pretty much, to be perfectly honest with you.

 

But today is a new day!

Had some sleep.

Took some time to lie quietly in bed for a long while after I woke up. A meditation time, sort of. (Yes, cheating. Lying down.)

 

Washed the dishes that had been sitting there for a couple of days. 🙁

Sitting on a bench now, by the lake

after a walk

 

Tom Harpur thinks that’s what “the Resurrection” in Christianity is actually meant to be about.

It’s a myth. A metaphor.

 

We rise every day with a clean(ish) slate.

 

Makes sense to me!

Not a big fan of organized religion, personally.

(my posts on this subject

 

I think it doesn’t matter so very very much what we were taught.
Just grab some truth now.

 

Resurrection is possible

for each of us

every day

 

Every day

Every minute!

 

(& for sure, a good night’s sleep can put a whole new slant on life.

It sure often does for me!)

 

Janet

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

“If you need to feel hope, you’re courting despair, and if you court despair you will stop working. So try to wean yourself from this need to have hope. Try to have faith instead, to do what you can, and stop worrying about whether or not you’re effective…Worry about what is possible for you to do, which is always greater than you imagine.” ~ Oscar Romero

 

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Painted into a Corner

 

So, the human race has painted itself into a corner.

 

So we have

so we have

so we have.

 

Problems so many, now

Of such a daunting number, size & complexity

It’s too late now (far too late)

For us to “solve” them

(Actually, the problems we’ve created will “solve” us!)

 

We paint ourselves into corners too, though, as individuals, don’t we?

 

I think sometimes we can paint our way out, if we try

 

We can

  • change our mind
  • change our attitude … our perspective
  • say we’re sorry
  • show compassion
  • atone for past behaviour
  • behave differently … even if an apology is more than we’re able to offer
  • begin to follow a new path

 

It may even turn out to be easier than we think!

The first step is liable to be the trickiest

But the ones after that, easier & easier

 

(after all, it’s true that we “make the road by walking

yes?)

 

Full disclosure?

I paint myself into corners too.

 

Then?

Well, I

 

  • wait for the paint to dry, then exit when it’s not so sticky anymore
  • knock down a wall
  • or crawl out a window
  • back up, back out, figure out a new dance step … one way or another
  • take a day off. Rest. Recuperate. Gotta do this sometimes…

 

Getting a little help from our friends never hurts!

Having a good conversation with someone can work wonders! 🙂

Taking a long walk can work miracles.

 

Being alone, stuck in a corner, is just no damn fun!

 

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

“Rick wants a great big crowbar to crack him open so he can take whatever creature is sitting inside him and shake it clean like a rug, then rinse it in a cold, clear lake, and then put it under the sun to heal and dry and grow and come to consciousness again with a clear and quiet mind.” – from the Douglas Copeland novel Player One: What is to Become of Us

Bonus quote: “It is good to realize that falling apart is not such a bad thing. Indeed, it is as essential to evolutionary and psychological transformation as the cracking of outgrown shells.” – Joanna Macy in World as Lover, World as Self Courage for Global Justice and Ecological Renewal

* Great recent Macy interview here!

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True Confessions

<Friday, April 1/16>

  1. I feel like this whole week – ever since Monday – has been “down the rabbit hole.” Yikes. Yikes, sheesh & OMG.
  2. People drive me crazy. Are driving me crazy. We’re all crazy! (Me too, I know, I know.)
  3. I watch old episodes of the Lou Grant show lately. If I have a good novel to read, I read – but my patience for nonsense in novels is at an all-time low. That last one I read? & the one after it that I tried to read? Give me strength. Yay for old Lou Grant episodes. (& really good novels. 🙂 )
  4. Last night I had beer & popcorn for supper. (& watched Lou Grant…)
  5. I’m really not sure how much more craziness I’m up for.      You??
  6. Some days I feel a little … twitchy. Today seems to be one of them. Like I’m kind of … spinning.
  7. I sure do love birds a lot. I hear their chitter-chatter outside my apartment window (even in the winter. Well, you know, that winter-that-wasn’t-really-a-winter). This morning I heard seagulls, a woodpecker, & a cardinal (or two). Nice…
  8. I am really tired of everyone on the planet acting as though s/he is the only person in the world. Hogging more than her/his fair share of space – at the library (as just happened) … on the streetcar (some folks really need lessons in manners, hmmm?). Not watching where they’re walking along the sidewalk ‘cos they’re so caught up in that little device in their hands, hmmm? Talking way too loud on said device. You know, I think those little devices are helping make us all crazy (crazier). Just sayin.
  9. I cannot believe the earnestness of the two women I saw on the subway today – intently discussing the one woman’s plans to renovate her kitchen. Earnestness personified. Whoa…
  10. In this the year 2016, I agonize over such minutiae as buying a cup of coffee when I don’t have my reusable mug with me. Finding a kind of shampoo that isn’t full of dangerously toxic chemicals. Buying fruit that isn’t organic. The entire bloody world is going/has gone utterly to Hell in a hand basket all around me – & I’m still worrying about my own tiny morsels of garbage or waste. Meanwhile, living in the midst of an ocean of toxic air & sludge & a 1001 varieties of sick corruption. Sheesh. What a nut!? 🙁 🙂

Janet

p.s. the day after I posted this, I came across The New Lifeboat Hour series FIRST AID FOR CATACLYSM, in 3 parts. As I type this p.s. I am listening to the first one. I’ll add in this info to my near-term extinction resources page

‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “All great spirituality is about what we do with our pain. If we do not transform our pain, we will transmit it to those around us.” – Richard Rohr

Bonus Quote: “Many of the things we all struggle with in love and work can be helped by conversation. Without conversation, studies show that we are less empathic, less connected, less creative and fulfilled. We are diminished, in retreat.” – from Reclaiming Conversation – The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, by Sherry Turkle (trust me, the book is a must-read!!)

 

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The Rose-Colored Glasses Brigade

 

Oceans dying.

 

Heating

Acidifying

Rising higher with melted glacier water

Creatures poisoned, toxic … dying

Coral reefs decimated

Plankton disappearing

Garbage patches multiplying

Plastic-choked ocean creatures & territories

Oil slicks

Chemical contamination

Radioactive waste.

 

On land?

Similar assaults of a 1000 shocking, appalling, unimaginable kinds

Bees facing extinction

Species extinctions reaching a shocking crescendo

As we kill mine torture poison experiment invade destroy corrupt.

The Earth itself poisoned, toxic

Our food growing in toxic soils

Watered with polluted water

(There is no clean water left on the planet)

 

The plants, critters (& we ourselves)

Breathing carcinogenic air

 

Protective ozone layer shredded.

 

Climate chaos breathing hotly down our necks

Very very hotly & heavily indeed.

 

But here come the members of the Rose-Colored Glasses Brigade!

Ever cheerful

(Ever deluded)

 

Everything will be fine!
Somehow, it will all work out!

🙂 🙂 🙂

If we just do this

If we just change that

(no sign anywhere of ANY of these massive changes needed, mind you

Changes that have been called for, for decades now…)

 

Nattering nonsense

Proffering platitudes

 

(fooling no one, I’ll warrant, least of all their very own selves)

 

Truth?

Plain speaking?

Unwelcome.

Not. Wanted. On. The. Voyage … thank you very much

 

 

Biggest elephant in the room EVER

In all the millennia of our species’ history.

 

Fie on you, Rose-Colored Glasses Brigade

Fiddlesticks.

(note my considerate, & considerable, politeness here. No harsh swear words, though trust me, they tempt me)

 

 

Please!

Please please please please please

 

Spare me.

 

Please.

 

 

NTE (near-term extinction) categories on this blog

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

“But what it comes down to is that we are here now. So the choice is how to live now. With the little time left, we could wake up more. We could allow this whole experience of the planet, which is intrinsically rewarding, to manifest through our heart-minds—so that the planet may see itself, so that life may see itself. And we can bless it in some way. So there is some source of blessing on us, even as we die. I think of a Korean monk who said “Sunsets are beautiful too, not just sunrises.” We can do it beautifully. If we are going to go out, then we can do it with some nobility, generosity and beauty, so we do not fall into shock and fear.” – Joanna Macy on how to prepare internally for whatever comes next

p.s. & yes. I’m STILL an activist… Why?       ‘cos activism rocks!

 

Truth is Scary copy

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7 Billion

7 billion people on the Earth

7 billion (human) “souls”

7 billion worlds!

(face it; we each live in a world of our own, do we not?)

 

7 billion worlds

7 billion pain bodies on parade

7 billion ways of seeing the world

being in the world

being the world

 

(not all of us with benign or generous or unselfish or Life-enhancing thoughts & schemes, hmmm?)

 

 

How can anyone … in her/his wildest imaginings? … imagine it possible

For 7 billion different worlds

To be “sustainable”

 

On this one, very-very beautiful, stunningly abundant … but oh-so-finite planet?

 

 

 

 

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

“I wonder if she remembers that gift as well as I do. We didn’t have so many things in those days. There weren’t so many things to have. There was more to look forward to, but less to possess. It’s the other way round now.” – main character in the novel The Seven Sisters, by Margaret Drabble

 

“If a thing is never spoken between people who know each other well, and each knows the thing well, maybe it’s not a secret. …. It’s a powerful thing, that ability to tell the truth when the truth is upon you, but it has another power entirely when you don’t tell it.” – Stephen Jenkinson in Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul

“If you can’t say something, you can’t see it either.” – Stephen Jenkinson in Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul

 

* quotes about truth

* near-term extinction section of the blog (includes resources, quotes, Facebook support group links)

 

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Chernobyl. 30 Years.

Not gonna to lie to you. I feel heartbroken a lot of the time lately.

There are, of course, many, many reasons to feel this way.

(((I used to feel mad – or even occasionally outraged – a lot. I actually used to have a bumper sticker on my car that read ‘If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.’ That goes back a while… 🙂  Now, I mostly feel sad – but beyond sad, as I say. Heartbroken.)))

***** Interjection! Walking helps a lot. Being detached from my “devices” (laptop, email, Facebook, the Internet) helps too. Little kids & trees, also. (Well, & the lake, of course.) & music. & time with friends/loved ones, & walking. (Did I already mention walking?? 🙂 🙂 )

 

So. Today marks the 30th anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster (April 26, 1986). Still identified by many “experts” as the worst nuclear disaster ever – due (I think) to the extremely widespread geographical dispersion of its nuclear payload – on land. Fukushima is of course a monumental disaster/catastrophe also; some may speak of the great good fortune (for people) that so much of the fallout in Japan was blown toward the ocean, given the wind direction at the time, & less on land. (Good for people maybe; maybe not so good for the life/critters in the ocean, hmmm?)

Well. Those are details.

Go ahead & split hairs if you feel so inclined.

Whatever.

 

Fact is, the environmental disaster aspect pales (almost) beside the human impacts.

Meaning, the ongoing contamination in the air – the water – the soils – people’s food – the trees & plants & crops – & in people & critters’ bodies.

Particularly the bodies of children.

Last night, I watched a 43-minute documentary called ‘Children of Chernobyl 28 years later: a report on low level, long term radiation exposure’ – made in 2014 by a Japanese documentary filmmaker. About the long-term, ever-ongoing health impacts of the Chernobyl disaster – on the children of Ukraine (& Belarus & Russia, the areas of highest fallout).

Note that the impacts described in this documentary are not from a disaster that took place yesterday afternoon, or last year, or 5 or even 15 years ago – but 30 years ago.

Thirty.Years.Ago.

Radiation / fallout = the ‘gift’ that goes on ‘giving.’ Genetic legacy, hmmm?

 

Human beings have done – continue to do daily – things so colossally stupid, thoughtless, cruel, malicious, dangerous and life-destroying – that I have to tell you, it just plain boggles my mind.

Still.

After (in my own case) just under 30 years of environmental activism.

Boggles my mind

& breaks my heart.

 

Children – our children & our grandchildren – are the innocents.

How hugely we betray them.

Heartbreaking.

 

Foolish.

Suicidal.

Heartbreaking.

 

Janet

p.s. last year’s (very angry) Chernobyl anniversary posting on this blog & the 2014 one (Chernobyl: 28 years, still breaking hearts).

p.p.s. the (recent) posting at this location provides many-many links about the situation in Chernobyl now, 30 years in.

p.p.p.s.  the nuke accidents they never tell you about

 

‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “Uranium is the mineral of the apocalypse.” – Donald Weber

Uranium 235 Half-life

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Duct Tape

<Feb.6/16.>

For some reason, duct tape came into my mind this morning.

I used to say I had to wear duct tape over my mouth when I lived up in Deep River.

As in, Do.Not.Talk.About.Nukes. (Most people in the exceptionally beautiful community on the Ottawa River – surrounded by Nature in stunning beauty & variety – make their livings from the nuclear industry. One simply does not diss nukes in Deep River. It.Is.Not.Done.)

You could call it living in a bubble. Some there know very well they do. (I know, ‘cos several folks said as much to me, without my ever prompting them.)

But then, as far as that goes, we’re all living in a bubble, hmmm?

99.9% of us, seemingly.

 

We.Are.Delusional

(see next post)

 

Now, I’d had to wear duct tape back in my married years. I was not really able to speak honestly about the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the whole, real depth of the environmental crisis – what I saw coming for our species, down the road, & what I believed needed to be done about it; how to respond.

One still can’t, not really. Duct tape is still required. Truth is not on the menu, mostly.

Because we are delusional. (see next post)

 

Duct tape is mighty handy stuff. Don’t go out in a canoe without it!!

One day I was OIAC – out in a canoe – with friends.

A slight mishap occurred, & DT was needed to patch things up.

Fortunately, I’d obeyed my own commandment about when one is OIAC, & had some DT in my day pack.

Duct tape saved the day! 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Now I wear (metaphorical) DT 99.9% of the time – because people don’t really want to hear the truth about the extreme perilousness of things on PE (Planet Earth).

Because We Are Delusional. (see next post)

 

That’s OK.

Fortunately, we all have the sanctity, the privacy, the privilege

of our own thoughts.

 

I don’t have to wear duct tape over my brain, my own thoughts.

I can let it all hang out in there.

 

Hallelulia for that!

🙂 🙂

 

J.

p.s. I decided not to post the We Are Delusional post. ‘cos it’s kind of a rant. I’ll spare everyone that particular (somewhat rage-based) rant. 🙂

p.p.s. Joanna Macy on how to prepare internally for whatever comes next

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Nature. & Relationships

<Jan. 11/16.>

So, a good friend & I were chatting recently.

She’s one of the relatively few people to whom I’m able to say (mild-ish) things about near-term extinction – the human extinction I believe almost everyone now accepts is coming – though there is certainly a wide range of opinions about the timeframe & likely speed of events/impact (some folks, of course, just plain deny its possibility – yet with little real credibility, wouldn’t you say??).

Does anyone really believes All Is Well Here On Planet Earth? – & that we can assume much of anything, really, about what’s coming in our own lifetimes, on the global level?

Well.

Some of the people I know are advising Brace For Impact, & I’d have to say, this counsel strikes me as wise. The climate stuff going on all around us is #OffTheCharts. & economic chaos is likely also headed our way (or jeeze, already here…).

So. We were chatting, this friend & I, as I say. My friend gave a summary of what she believes are the things that Really Matter.

  • Nature
  • Relationships

& I thought

Wow. Yeah. Now there’s a nice tight little summary, hmmmm?

She & I are both crazy about trees & forests, pretty much, love to bike & cross-country ski &/or be out in a kayak or canoe. Nature-lovers. (Lots of people these daze seem to think life exists inside one device or another, & don’t seem to be noticing the planet going down in flames around us – the dying trees, oceans, species, habitat loss, runaway climate change, etc. etc. etc. Oblivious’R We, apparently.)

So. Nature – upon which we all rely utterly, dudes, hmmm? – though perhaps not all realize this??

  • Air for breathing
  • Water for drinking
  • Earth for growing food in

Hmmm?

Yet here we are, trashing it all, fit to beat the band

at a furious rate

(furious both in terms of speed & ferocity)

& have been doing so for 1000s of years now (no, it isn’t a new phenomenon; it’s just that with our exponential population growth, our impacts too have become exponential)

& really, one can scarcely even take it in!

 

I still walk most days.

Will be a “nature-lover” until I croak

 

& I think

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Nature.
Relationships.

 

Yup!

Yup yup yup yup yup.

 

Pity we’ve made/keep making such a horrific mess of both, mostly.

🙁

Janet

‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved. I have been give much and I have given something in return. Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.” Oliver Sacks, doctor, neurologist, prolific author, in his book Gratitude, essays written during his last 2 years of life

 “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” – Viktor Frankl 

 p.s. NTE section of the blog here. Links to resources you can consult (plenty of ‘em!), some pithy quotations … even a support group! 🙂  There are postings on grief, here & here. Grief is for real. We’re allowed to be sad! (I think we’d have to be made of stainless steel, not to feel grief about what’s going on all around us … don’t you??)

 p.p.s. this gem came my way yesterday. Joanna Macy on how to prepare internally for whatever comes next.  🙂 🙂   I’m a big fan of Joanna Macy. This is one wise, wise woman.

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While we are still here

While we are still here?

Let’s

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

“4 Rules for Life

  • Show up.
  • Pay attention.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Don’t be attached to the results.”   – Angeles Arrien, U.S. teacher, author (1940 – )

 

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