Janet McNeill

The Network of Spiritual Progressives is a very fine conglomeration of U.S.-based progressive thinkers whose Washington conference I attended a few months ago (June 2010). Totally awesome conference, speakers, & experience. Totally glad I went!!

Along with my conference fee, I’ve been given a one-year subscription to the NSP’s fantastic magazine, Tikkun.

(Tikkun, btw, pronounced tee-kun, means to mend, repair & transform the world.)

More cool stuff about NSP than I really have time to articulate right now, since I’m mostly focused on something else entirely.

But wanted you to know a few things about NSP & Tikkun:

• The NSP group has come up with fantastic ideas. The people involved in this group are very big thinkers! One of their excellent proposals is the ESRA – the Environmental & Social Responsibility Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
• Another is the Global Marshall Plan (the NSP Web site has links to both, of course…)
• The other major thing I wanted to mention is that the Sept./Oct. 2010 issue of Tikkun Magazine is very well worth reading!! There are excerpts of a number of the speeches of the amazing speakers from the June 2010 Washington conference (e.g., Dennis Kucinich, Bill McKibben, Keith Ellison, Jeremy Ben-Ami, Margaret Flowers, Lester Brown, Arthur Waskow, Brian McLaren, Marianne Williamson & Sharon Welch – along with lots of info about the proposed ESRA – along with gobs of other great articles!!

You definitely want to check out the Network of Spiritual Progressives & Tikkun magazine; trust me!!

Janet

<written in Sept. 1995; 15 years ago now!!>

My family went on a canoe trip with friends recently &, as always, had a thoroughly wonderful time. The peace & quiet of canoeing & camping in Algonquin Park (in Ontario, Canada) is something everyone really ought to try. It’s amazing. So relaxing & stress-reducing. (1)

Except, of course, when one of your children gets lost while your party of eight is on a very, very long portage(2) between two lakes &, as a typical frantic parent, you begin to let your imagination run away with you & start picturing all sorts of horrendous things happening (in my mind, once Jen had returned safely, but her Dad was still down the (darn) logging road looking for her, a bear attacked him and started pulling him to pieces. I was a much happier woman when both had returned safely & it was clear we were all safe and sound!?)(3)

Well. The whole crazy thing ended happily, I can report, after an incredible amount of anxiety on the part of most of us in the group. A few lessons about canoeing etiquette (or rather, portaging etiquette) were learned (e.g., children should be assigned to a designated adult on portages & should not be out of sight of that designated adult at any time. Another suggestion received later – now actually a law, I believe – was about the carrying of whistles by each member of the group. You can call yourself hoarse pretty quickly!)

But I remember something else about that day. We had known all along we had a very great deal of ground to cover, & had broken up camp & departed by 8:45 am because of the humungous number of metres of portaging we knew we had ahead of us before we’d reach our eventual destination for the night.

I had been feeling pretty much like a kid on the trip. Others had planned the route & were more on top of where we were headed & how long the various portages were likely to take. I felt free to sit in the canoe, paddle & simply enjoy the beautiful surroundings & incredible peace of the lakes.

Some of us, I think, were dreading all the portaging – but I’d decided not to think about that ahead of time. Once I landed at a portage spot & had a sense of what was ahead of me, then I would finally think about the reality of it & how we’d manage it. I was aware that we had a bit of a brute of a day ahead of us, but just didn’t feel like getting into a big hairy sweat about it ahead of time.

I think this way of thinking has something to be said for it. We can know in our minds what the big picture is (& for an environmental activist like me who fears/knows we are doing far too little, much too late, the “big picture” looks very scary indeed!), & we can be trying our best to plan appropriately for things. But there is very little point in getting in a huge sweat about it ahead of time, because

a) things will very likely not go as anticipated – some utter surprise is more than likely to come along;

b) if things don’t go as planned, most of the fuss & worry & stress we’ve engaged in will prove to have been simply a waste of our time & energy;

c) we can’t really give ourselves fully to what we are doing now if we’re constantly fretting about the next thing that is going to happen &

d) we may very well get hit by a truck five minutes from now & wish we’d learned the lesson much sooner that we have to live fully today & right now, because tomorrow & the future in general are by no means guaranteed.

Heck. Lots of people much wiser than I have expressed all this before. Live for today. Plan sensibly for tomorrow & next week & all that, of course. But don’t be so darn busy planning & worrying about what’s ahead that you forget to live fully today!

One portage at a time. It really worked for me on that canoe trip. I think we can let it work for us all the time, although I think we chronically rushed North Americans are generally not at all good at this. We need to learn to let go more, slow down the pace enough to “smell the roses” more than once in a blue moon, & to really listen when, for example, our kids or other loved ones are talking to us (I’m just as guilty as the next person of being too harried & only half-listening – but at least I’m trying!)

One portage at a time. Really being where we actually are at any given moment. Taking some deep breaths once in a while, & not constantly hyper-ventilating. Heck – we might all even begin to make sounder decisions about things by slowing down a little, hmmm?(4)

Janet

P.S. My goodness but a lot has happened in the now-15 years since I wrote this little essay!? “Good” things. “Bad” things. Tragedies, even, & hugely surprising & utterly unexpected major life detours. So much life… One thing has remained “the same,” though. Taking “one portage at a time” still seems to be eminently sensible advice…

‘Quote for the day’ w. this post: “It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of Destiny can be handled at a time.” – Winston Churchill

Well! I’m reading up a storm this summer, I must say! (& simultaneously not setting the world on fire. Suffering a serious case of very low energy, unfortunately. Oh well. Thank Goddess/the Universe for our world’s profusion of libraries & great books!!)

Memoirs: Since I posted Summer Reading (part I), I finished reading Stones into Schools – Promoting Peace with Books, not Bombs, In Afghanistan and Pakistan, by Greg Mortenson – his follow-up to Three Cups of Tea – One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace…One School at a Time (co-authored with David Oliver Relin). If ever there was a human being to personify the word inspiring, Greg Mortenson gets my vote!! His Central Asia Institute has built more than 130 schools in remote (really remote) parts of Pakistan & Afghanistan (do read Three Cups of Tea for the whole story!). Stones into Schools brings you up-to-date & includes the amazing tale of how Mortenson (& his equally inspiring cohorts – what a crew he works with! Hooey!) have even cooperated with the U.S. military along the way in their work to make literacy & education available to thousands & thousands of people & communities that would otherwise have to accept the …hmmm…. rather dubious overtures of the Taliban. This man is a hero – no question whatsoever about that. He & his colleagues in Afghanistan & Pakistan work long hours, sleep & eat very little, tackle bureaucracy & corrupt & violent police fearlessly – or perhaps I should say courageously… Mortenson is surely more than deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize. His book made me both laugh & cry & inspired me beyond mere words. Please read it!!

I just re-read Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes – A Memoir. I marvel at this man’s memory & his brilliant rendering of an incredibly poverty & disaster-stricken childhood in Ireland. His detail! His honesty! Above all else, the strength of his spirit! I spent many years supposing that if there were ever an “I come from a more dysfunctional family than you” contest, I’d win hands down. Hah! My family wouldn’t even make the cut. Bless this man for sheer guts! Like Jeannette Walls (in her memoir The Glass Castle), McCourt is living proof that for some quite special people graced with miraculously strong characters, the “childhood from Hell” can become fodder for fierce strength & motivation in adulthood. (I’ve worked in both psychiatric & correctional fields, btw, & as I’ve grown ever older &, one hopes, a little wiser, I’ve also gained more & more compassion. We mustn’t ever expect all those who survive brutal childhoods to become such marvels – but it certainly is a wondrous inspiration when some do!)

Fiction: I re-read Margaret Atwood’s The Robber Bride (yes, it isn’t new; it was published in 1993), & was again reminded (if I needed to be) of Ms. Atwood’s fierce intelligence, incisive wit, piercing insight into human foibles (in this case reminding readers of the sometimes altogether nasty possible side to female nature, Ahem) – & her humour! Atwood has always been able to make me laugh, bless her! (She is also a supporter of Elizabeth May, my favourite Canadian politician – or maybe my favourite politician, period?? Both of these women have the intelligence (& integrity) of at least 3 of most mere mortals one generally encounters). Very glad I re-read this novel; Atwood is always a delight…

Psychology/Healing: In the pile on the coffee table is a book called Healing the Shame That Binds You, by John Bradshaw. I read this one years ago & took it out of the library just recently, having realized some months ago that I’ve been carrying around some “toxic shame” all my life, as so many of us apparently have, & do. I haven’t gotten far in the book currently, because I seem to be being pulled more to the other 10 or 12 books in the pile. I mention it in case any readers find the title intriguing…

I’m making my way slowly through Awakening Intuition – Using Your Mind-Body Network for Insight & Healing. It’s another I’ve read before, but current life circumstances have drawn me back to it. Author Mona Lisa Schulz is a medical intuitive, M.D. & neuropsychiatrist (yes, she has an M.D. from the Boston University of Science & Medicine, & a Ph.D. from its department of Behavioral Neurosciences). Her understanding of human psychology & brain physiology & human nature & the nature of intuition are…breathtaking. I’ve been wondering lately about my own health (that serious energy deficit), so I’m greatly enjoying Dr. Schulz’s knowledge & insights. I’d recommend this book to any living, breathing human being on the planet. Yup…

Another book in that big pile is neuropsychologist Dr. Paul Pearsall’s Making Miracles – A scientist’s journey to death and back reveals the powerful hidden order behind life’s chaos, crises and coincidences. Seems a lot of people I know are dealing with a variety of challenging medical situations at the moment. Miracles sound pretty appealing right now. I do recall from when I first read this book (10 or so years ago, I think) that Dr. Pearsall has some pretty interesting things to say…

As an environmental activist super-concerned about climate change, I recently picked up a copy of Eaarth – Making a Life on a Tough New Planet, by environmental super-hero Bill McKibben. McKibben outlines the full depth & breadth of the climate change crisis. Since I haven’t yet read the whole book, it’s too soon for me to give it the full treatment here (I’ll likely soon devote a full blog post to it), but please go right on out & buy yourself a copy!! (or borrow it from your local library, &/or donate a copy to your favourite library). This one is for sure on the list of 2010 must-reads. For everyone & her/his cousin.

Janet

P.S. I’m also still making my way ever-so-slowly through Philip Simmons’s lovely Learning to Fall – The Blessings of an Imperfect Life, savouring it a chapter at a time. Simmons was living with/dying of ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease, when he wrote this lovely, honest book about how we are surely all learning to fall in this life, & how we might all learn to do so with insight, joy & grace. I’ll be reading & re-reading this book for a long while to come, no doubt! I recommend it highly…

I’m familiar with the concept of ‘climate justice,’ & actually got myself arrested last year because of my own concerns & passion about climate change & climate justice – but I think a lot of people still don’t really “get” it.

Last weekend I attended a conference on climate change in Toronto, where I heard (among many others) 2 excellent speakers who really understand – deep in their hearts & their guts – about climate change & climate justice.(1)

First, I heard Afsan Chowdury, a journalist who produced & directed the short film “Climate Change: Does anybody care if Bangladesh drowns?”

His talk was very…disturbing.

He pointed out that, in the west, climate change is a lifestyle issue, while in the east, it’s a life & death issue.

Chowdury is from Bangladesh, a country with 140 million people & the place on Planet Earth where climate change is (& has been) causing massive disruption for some years already now. Flooding, salination of rivers – & massive dislocation of the people who live there.

I later bought a copy of his film & watched it, & am very glad I did. It’s not an uplifting story, exactly – but it is about an issue we all need to understand.

The crux of the climate change/climate justice issue is that it is the habits of those of us in the well-off parts of the world (Canada & the U.S. among these, of course) that are causing disastrous impacts in the not-so-well-off countries. (Bill McKibben’s book Eaarth – Making a Life on a Tough New Planet is a must-read, folks!! He explains causes, current conditions, & why we must all learn to adapt to a new world.)

We can ignore this – our role in the fate of millions of our fellow human beings around the world – & go merrily about our lives, never questioning or changing our attitudes & behaviour – &, clearly, many of us do!

I don’t find this works for me. It seems I have an overly-developed conscience(2) – & it won’t allow me to live with it unless I pay attention to these serious, stubborn & sometimes nasty issues.

As it happens, my son-in-law is from Bangladesh. He’s lived in Canada for almost 20 years now, & he’s become very “Canadian” (whatever that means!?)

I’ve been active on environmental issues for 21 years, & particularly passionate about climate change for longer than my son-in-law has been in my life.

But it never hurts to make things “personal,” does it?

Why not watch “Climate Change: Does anybody care if Bangladesh drowns?” & then decide for yourself whether you want to live with your conscience, pretending that the way you live doesn’t affect others, & that climate justice is a concept that has no meaning in your life.

(Personally, though, I’m at the point of thinking it’s time we started calling a spade a spade. Maybe we need to say a little more often “Hey! That’s immoral!!”)

Janet

P.S. You might like to take a look at the site “Direct Action in Canada for Climate Justice.”

P.P.S. & please consider reading the post: ‘Speaking of Speaking up (& not..)’

This is a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche – not, I must confess, a person whose writings I’ve read, nor a person with whose life philosophies I am familiar.

Truth to tell, all I really know about Nietzsche is that he memorably said, “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them” & “We have art in order not to perish of truth” & “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”

Sounds like he was kind of a smart dude, I gotta say…

Personally, being a big fan of walking (& the great ideas I often get while doing so), & also a big believer that we human beings really need a decent-sized community to belong to – to feel affirmed by – I’m at the very least a fan of these wise things Nietzsche said. (I can’t guarantee anyone I’d like or agree with each & every thing he ever said. Heck, I can’t always agree with myself from one day to another. If you’re looking for iron-clad, 100% consistency, you’ve come to the wrong place!)

Right now a debate is raging about the possible construction of a Muslim community centre near the “Ground Zero” site in New York City. I can’t believe some of the rhetoric I’m hearing from people like Sarah Palin & Newt Gingrich.

Geez – get a grip, dudes! Have you forgotten that American society (the white piece of it, anyway, during & after genocidally tromping all over the folks who’d already been living here for thousands of years), was founded by people who wanted to be able to live according to what they believed?

Don’t we all want to be able to believe what we believe, & live peacefully while doing so?

Do any of us know even two people who believe exactly the same things about…anything?? Religion. Politics. Women’s “rights.” The way children should behave. Taste in music. The weather, for heaven’s sake…

I came across this neat quotation several years ago: “The demands – heard from pole to pole, for freedom, justice, security, equality, education, a safe environment, and a better life for the world’s children – are all grounded in, and reach downward to, this elemental human need: silence, solitude, and the right to rule one’s own thoughts: the sanity of the inner life.” (Noel Peattie, poet/librarian, from the publication ‘Inner Life,’ quoted in Utne Reader Sept/Oct 2005.)

That sure resonates for me.

Now, personally I’m a “believer.” I belong to no particular religious denomination (I was raised in a nominally “Christian” & church-attending household where the non-Christian behaviour I witnessed daily was so off the charts, I kinda walked in the other direction…).

I quite admire the precepts of Buddhism – but don’t consider myself Buddhist. I’m just…me. I take my wisdom wherever I happen to find it (& btw, there appears to be plenty of it – in all religions).

My ex-husband is (as far as I know, still) an atheist – married to a devout (& quite lovely) Catholic woman. My daughter, who is, shall we say, not “religious,” is married to an observant Muslim. These two rather inspiring relationships give me great faith that we grown-up human beings can actually believe whatever it is we believe about “religion” – & feel no need whatsoever to try & convince others of its “rightness.”

My son-in-law is without question one of the most peaceful & tolerant people I’ve yet had the privilege to meet here on Planet Earth. Born in Bangladesh but raised in Canada since the age of 5, he is no more a candidate for terrorism or noisy carryings-on of any kind than anyone else I know (actually, much less so!).

These two give me great faith in young people! I meet quite a few young environmental activists, too, & the common elements I so much enjoy are great flexibility & tolerance, a natural respect & recognition for the attributes & abilities (& weaknesses) of both sexes – & confidence in their ability to “change the world” – even when they’re utterly unaware that’s what they’re actually engaged in doing.

The folks I have a problem with are the ones who are fundamentalist/intolerant – whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, atheist or…whatever.

F.R. Scott, poet & professor, said, “The world is my country. The human race is my race. The spirit of man is my God. The future of man is my heaven.”

I do believe we humans are all one tribe. And that we each have a deep need to feel we belong.

“Sin is that which separates.”

Seems like a most propitious time for all of us to “get” this. We have much bigger fish to fry than obsessing over exactly what someone else conceives of “God” to be, wouldn’t you say?

Janet

P.S. Kurt Vonnegut, a writer I mention & am reminded of frequently, always wrote about how destitute most modern human (North Americans) have become, being so cut off from our extended families. Building community is what we need to focus on – not our (mostly imagined) differences. Is it not so?

A Few Relevant Quotations:

“A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right.” – Thomas Paine (Introduction to Common Sense 1776)

“The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.” – Carl Jung

“Just imagine how good it would feel if we all got together once in a while in large public gatherings and admitted that we don’t know why we are alive, that nobody knows for sure if there is a higher being who created us, and that nobody really knows what the hell’s going on here.” – Wes Nisker, meditation teacher, Inquiring Mind (Spring 2005) – quoted in Utne Reader, summer 2005

“Conflict is everywhere: water hitting rock, teachers pushing students to learn, or wolves trying to coexist with ranchers. It is our call to evolve. It challenges us to look beyond our current views to an expanded reality. It is a relentless teacher that asks us to see unity where before we found opposites.” – Deidre Combs, mediation specialist, quoted in ‘Sacred Journey’ (Feb/March 2005) – quoted in Utne Reader May/June 2005

“Our hearts are not pure; our hearts are filled with need and greed as much as with love and grace, and we wrestle with our hearts all the time. The wrestling is who we are. How we wrestle is who we are. What we want to be is never what we are. Not yet. Maybe that’s why we have these relentless engines in our chests, driving us forward toward what we might be.” – Brian Doyle, essayist, Orion Jan/Feb. 2005, quoted in Utne Reader May/June 2005

“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” – Alexsandr Solzhenitsyn, exiled Russian novelist, quoted in Yes! (Winter 2002) – Utne Nov-Dec 2002

“When I despair, I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it. Always.” – Gandhi

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone: it has to be made like bread, remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. LeGuin

“I would not interfere with any creed of yours or want to appear that I have all the cures. There is so much to know… so many things are true… The way my feet must go may not be best for you. And so I give this spark of what is light to me, to guide you through the dark, but not tell you what to see.” – Author unknown

“To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards out of men.” – Abraham Lincoln

“When one does not see what one does not see, one does not even see that one is blind.” – Paul Veyne

“Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” – Benjamin Franklin

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)

“The miracle is this – the more we share, the more we have.” ~ Leonard Nimoy

“Back on the rez, a grandfather was talking to his grandson about his feelings after the attacks. He said, “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.” The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?” The grandfather answered, “The one that I feed.” [no idea where I got this one; so sorry!?]

“I still believe the model of the peaceful world is the potluck supper. Everyone can make a contribution, everyone can gain fellowship and nourishment, and we can all learn from one another.” – Ursula Franklin

Just returned from a conference on climate change in Toronto. Excellent workshops & speakers & later also some time spent chatting & strategizing with fellow activists (some of whom I’d known before the conference, plus a couple new acquaintances).

Bought a copy of Eaarth – Making Life on a Tough New Planet, by Bill McKibben – long-time environmental activist/writer & founder of 350.org & now major push behind 10/10/10 - “Global Work Party.”

If there is one book you really ought to read right about now, it’s this one. It’s chockfull of wildly sobering facts about climate change & what needs to be done about it. McKibben has me thoroughly on-side with his view that from here on in, we must learn to deal with a changed Earth. It simply isn’t the place it used to be – between one thing & another, with climate change in a starring role – & so there isn’t much point in making plans the way we used to, for a place that has changed – & is changing utterly, as we speak.

Also watched a short film called “Climate Change: Does anybody care if Bangladesh drowns?” – & I’ll write more about that another day (you can watch the film free at that link I just gave you, btw…).

The main thing I want to say right now is this:

The question “What is a person to do??” is one that rings inside my own head often. Well, daily. Or even moment-ly, you might say.

Those of us who are activists feel as though we really need to clone ourselves. There is just so very, very much that needs doing. (And still so many folks caught in that deer-in-the-headlights stunned immobility stance.)

As previously referenced, I’m an addictive reader. Another book I gobbled up on the weekend (for relief, I suppose, from the so-sobering facts about climate change), was Grace (Eventually) – Thoughts on Faith, by American writer Anne Lamott, another of my very favourite writers. I’d read this one before, but it was a perfect time to re-read it, & I did, with great enjoyment, amusement, & appreciation.

In the essay ‘Bastille Day,’ Lamott tells about her cool idea (in 2006) for a Bastille Day event.(1) She’d floated the idea on Salon (an entity about which I am ignorant; one can only keep up with so many things, hmm?) & had talked about it some during a book tour. As she put it in the essay, “In the Spring of 2006, I believed that good people who had watched their country’s leaders skid so far to the triumphal right would want to do something. I mean, wouldn’t they? Otherwise, those people’s children would ask them someday, when we would all be living in caves, “What did you do to try to save us?” And the children would be angry, and …”

but when July 14^th arrived, as it turned out, Lamott herself really didn’t feel up to the revolution. She’d kind of run out of steam, & besides hadn’t actually coordinated with any local friends, & so decided to take a pass – but after watching CNN for a while, she became “agitated.”

And as she tells it, “And then I did the single most important thing one can do to save the world: I got up off my butt.”

And went downtown & stood on the sidewalk for a few hours with a placard that read “One People. One Planet. One Future.”

God I love reading this woman!! Her writing is brilliant. She is laugh-out-loud funny, wondrously compassionate and searingly honest – about herself, which turns out to mean she exposes the nasty underbelly we all have. And then you don’t feel so bad about your own all-too-numerous faults & failings.

But back, finally, to the question raised by this post.

What is a person to DO?

Why, get up off your butt, of course!

Janet

P.S. You could definitely become involved in the 10/10/10 initiative. The idea behind this is to DO some practical things on October 10, 2010, that will help reduce greenhouse gas emissions & demonstrate to our “leaders” that we the people (all over the world) are taking action, so we can then ask them “What are YOU doing??” & put their feet to the fire so they start to do what needs to be done!

P.P.S. The 10/10/10 site will give you plenty of ideas. Here are a few that flew right off my pen onto the page as I was drafting this post:

• Plant a tree (or a whole bunch of them. Maybe 350??)
• Put up a wind turbine or solar panels
• Plan & construct a bike path
• Sell your gas guzzler
• Buy a transit pass
• Buy a bike
• Cut your electricity consumption – at home, at work, at church…wherever!
• Write to a politician or better yet, politicians at every level of government
• Become politically active!!!!! Ensure that candidates of integrity are elected
• Distribute brochures about something to family members if, like me, you’re Canadian & will be seeing family for Thanksgiving dinner on October 10th – I’ll be distributing ones about OntariosGreenFuture.ca, from the Ontario Clean Air Alliance (I’ll do other stuff too – but this one is so simple I can’t say no to it!!)
• Donate money toward groups working to shut down the Alberta tar sands
• Organize a public event…boycott…whatever…

(As you can see, the possibilities here are truly infinite!!)

‘Quote of the day’ w. this post: “If the people lead, eventually, the leaders will follow.” – Source unknown

<drafted July 13^th>

Do you have a “sweet tooth?”

I certainly do.

Sugar is one of my downfalls in this life. If it’s got sugar in it, count on me to like it…altogether too much. Cookies – cake – pie – fudge; you name it! Even my fondness for beer may have more to do with sugar than with the little buzz I get from it. For sure, I seldom drink more than two, & getting drunk is not my cup of tea at all.

It’s occurred to me recently that one of the reasons people find some of the things I say a little hard to hear is that maybe I don’t use quite enough candy-coating.

Not only do I “call” those “elephants in the room” we’re all stepping around so carefully, pretending they’re not there, I’m not using quite enough candy-coating to make them palatable when I do call them.

Here’s a thought I had recently that’s really un-palatable: We (in the so-called “developed” world) sold our souls to the devil (for a mess of potage??) so long ago now we don’t even remember it. We wanted (& still want) our predictability, our creature comforts, our “security,” our houses & cars & boats & cottages & vacations – our “control” (only the illusion of control of course, but we sure are addicted to that illusion!!) – & we got on board with the control monster so long ago now (10,000 years is the best guess of those more in the know), it doesn’t even feel like a decision anymore that we’re still making every day of the week when we mount up & go ‘round & ‘round on that busy 9 – 5, Monday-Friday treadmill, chasing our … “security.”

Things are very circular here, though, on Planet Earth. Things have a way of coming around “full circle,” & I’d say they seem to be headed very much in that direction.

To a time when family values (not George Bush-style “family values,” mind you) are recognized & valued for their truth worth – when “old-fashioned” values like sharing & courage & resilience & resourcefulness & trustworthiness & cooperation will stand us in greater stead than superficial notions & neuroses about wealth & celebrity status – which will finally, perhaps, be seen for their shallow only-skin-deepness.

Might not be too pretty!!

Not gonna candy-coat it for you. The elephant in the room is the truth that we’ve been busy consuming this Earth & spitting it back out as waste & pollution for so long now, our “nest” is almost completely fouled. Our governments (in North America, at any rate) are heading in pretty goshdarn scary directions too (see the G20-related posts on the blog for more on that score. Most recent is here; check the alphabetical Index up at the top for several more!).

I still work hard to “keep the faith.” I keep writing – being an activist & a Mom – &, frankly, having a pretty fine time in this life! Often, I suspect, actually maybe a more satisfying life without all those elephants than all the people who are so busy covering up their eyes & ears in … denial? Avoidance? Fear??

But sometimes – not gonna lie to you – I wish we’d all lose our addiction to all that candy-coating.

It isn’t just our teeth it’s bad for, I’m afraid…

Janet

P.S. The blog postings ‘Despair & Empowerment’ & ‘Despair & Empowerment: the Movie’ may be of interest…

I’ve been wishing for years now I could clone myself. In order to have enough time to do all the reading (& writing) I’d really like to do, there would have to be at least 2 more of me. (Of course, neither the world nor I would really want that to happen!?)

Well… I’ve been reading some very fine books this summer. You might enjoy some of them too!

The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls, is the amazing story of a woman whose childhood was…hmmm…a little on the harrowing side, I’d say, by middle-class North American standards. I’m tempted to give my own children a copy of the book with the inscription “And you thought your Dad & I made mistakes!?!?!” Ms. Walls’ parents were…well…not your run-of-the-mill people, shall we say, & it seems a miracle their children became such strong individuals as adults. It’s a well-written & fascinating book. A real testament to the resilience of the human spirit…

This Is It – Dialogues on the Nature of Oneness (including interviews with Eckhart Tolle, U.G. Krishnamurti and Tony Parsons), by Jan Kersschot, is one I know I’ll be dipping into over & over again. In the Foreword, Tony Parsons (author of The Open Secret & As It Is) says “This is It invites the seeker to investigate the possibility that there is no one and nothing that needs to be liberated. The author speaks easily and clearly about moving beyond effort, belief and path into a new perception that sees everything as the expression of wholeness.” A very neat & sometimes challenging read. For me, the phrase “This is it” resonated right away. (My most recent posting on religion – My Religion – outlines some of the problems I see with much of “organized” religion.)

Falling Apart in One Piece – One optimist’s journey through the hell of divorce, by Stacy Morrison, is a book I reviewed very recently on the blog – here. An awesome read!

Three Cups of Tea – One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace…One School at a Time, by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin (yes, I know, I know – I ought to have read this one years ago, but… I didn’t!) is the incredibly inspiring tale of Greg Mortenson & his work over the past 17 years to build schools in rural Pakistan. One day in 1993 he was coming down from a gruelling climb (a failed attempt to scale “K2,” the world’s 2^nd-highest mountain) & got “lost.” So begins the amazing saga of his work & determination & the eventual creation of (then) 53 schools in poor & remote areas with the help of the organization he co-founded, the Central Asia Institute.

Having just read Three Cups of Tea, I then borrowed Sally Armstrong’s book Veiled Threat – The Hidden Power of the Women of Afghanistan. A most informative & inspiring book! Seeing the book reminded me I’d once heard Ms. Armstrong speak, & that she was then encouraging women to host potluck dinners as fundraisers for teachers in Afghanistan. I’d actually forgotten I’d co-hosted one of these myself, with a friend – & got wondering…is anyone still doing that?? If not, why not? Such an easy & fun way to get together with friends & also raise money for a great cause! (The money raised could be donated to the Mortenson group, the Central Asia Institute.)

Stones into Schools – Promoting Peace with Books, not Bombs, in Afghanistan and Pakistan is Greg Mortenson’s 2^nd book, which I’ve just started in on. Would that we all had a tenth of this man’s energy & drive. We’d sure change the world mighty quick if we did!

Moving along to the fiction department:

The Bishop’s Man is a very fine book indeed. Linden MacIntyre’s fictional (& Giller prize-winning) tale of an insider enforcer, if you will, in a Catholic establishment riddled with…hmmm…language is failing me here. I always have a hard time knowing how to speak politely about priests who sexually abuse children. (Very occasionally, politeness seems a wee bit over-rated, don’t you think??) Well. The novel is a page-turner. Wildly well-written, interesting & challenging. So glad I finally picked this one up!

Noah’s Compass is a novel by Anne Tyler, long one of my favourite writers. Ms. Tyler’s characters are always…different. They often seem quite eccentric – yet are always so well drawn that one very much enjoys reading about their lives. Ms. Tyler blew me right out the water in this one with her recounting of (former Roman slave & later Stoic philosopher) Epictetus’s lesson about everything having two “handles.”(1) Wow! That sent a shiver through me. Some of those ancient philosopher dudes sure knew a thing or two, eh?? For sure, also, you would never go wrong reading any Anne Tyler novel. I only wish she’s publish several every year!

Beatrice & Virgil is Yann Martel’s latest book. I gobbled it up yesterday in one big gulp. Wow! What a story. Unusual, disturbing – rather brilliant, I’d have to say. I love Martel’s sneaky way of letting readers know a little bit about what it’s like to be a well-known writer. Come to think of it, the whole plot is pretty sneaky, really. But as I said, rather brilliant…

I re-read Kurt Vonnegut’s Timequake recently. Vonnegut is another of my all-time favourite writers. I’ve been reading his books for close to 40 years now! As it happens, I have an utterly hopeless memory for novels – the “up” side to this being I can re-read them & enjoy them every bit as much the 2^nd time around! For sure, I re-read Vonnegut books & always find him brilliant & hilarious. He nails our society right to the wall, in such pointed ways that you marvel at his ability with the English language. Sometimes it makes one despair – but a laugh at human nature (& Vonnegut’s unique sense of humour) is never very far off. If you haven’t read any Kurt Vonnegut, what the heck are you waiting for? (Cat’s Cradle or Slaughterhouse Five would be great ones to begin with… One of his last books is a collection of essays called Man Without a Country; also brilliant!)

Two books I go back & back to are Broken Open – How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, by Elizabeth Lesser & Kitchen Table Wisdom – Stories that Heal, by Rachel Naomi Remen. I always like to put in a plug for these two because they are such moving, healing, helpful, wonderful books. (the posts ‘Broken – or Broken Open?’ & ‘Lonely & Terrifed: Just Another ‘Bozo on the Bus’ will give you more of an idea about Lesser’s book. The post ‘Crying – Honouring Our Pain’ tells you how I sometimes use Kitchen Table Wisdom to jump-start the tears when nothing else is making them flow…)

There are 6 zillion other books I’m also crazy about! The postings ‘Books I most heartily recommend’  & ‘Recommended Reading’ provide 2 lists of books I’ve found very, very special & from which I’ve learned a very great deal over the years.

Reading… I can never get enough of it. I’m addicted!

And libraries – definitely my candidate for all-time-best-human-invention ever!! (Have you ever met a library you didn’t like? I rest my case…)

Happy reading!!

Janet

P.S. A week or so later: Gotta add here a mention of Philip Simmons’s wonderful Learning to Fall - The Blessings of an Imperfect Life, which I have been making my way through slowly - due to the fact that I’m reading about 5 books right now, & also want to do this one justice. Simmons wrote the book while dying of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease), & it is wonderfully thoughtful & … compassionate & wise. Many of us have our own reasons - as we speak - to pick up some words of wisdom about living well “under the gun,” as it were. This is well worth a good look!!

‘Quote of the day’ w. this post: “If a book doesn’t make us better, then what on earth is it for?” – Alice Walker

Disclaimer!!! The owner of this blog does not assume responsibility for any possible offence taken by any readers. Bear in mind, I sometimes offend myself!!

Good friend Barb & I got together recently & proceeded to laugh our socks off. (Well, it’s summer, of course, & we haven’t worn socks for months – but it’s a fun way to describe it, hmmm? Another way to put it would be that we laughed our asses off – but anyone can see in a flash we’re both still sporting those…).

Anyway, Barb is the friend who’s the Bill Maher fan, & at whose house I watch old Bill Maher episodes. I did a posting called New Rules, or if I ran the world – so this is sort of version 2…

Background: We’d just had breakfast in a restaurant & I’d set us off on a hysterical laughing fit, so we were warmed up for some nonsensical moments. Sure enough, that’s what we had! On the bus on the way back to her place, we came up with some “new rules.” Here goes…

1. War should be fun!! We saw some kids down on Queen St. playing with “bubble guns.” Barb said why don’t we learn to make war fun?? Combatants would only be issued with water or bubble guns &/or hoses; that way, if you can’t win the war, at least you’d get clean! Everyone a winner!!
2. Hate the hummer: we decided maybe there is a need for a hate-the-hummer fan club… Those bloody things use up enough resources for … well, for I don’t know how many families or towns or buildings or small countries – but they are RIDICULOUS & ought to be outlawed!! Maybe the way to get started is with a Hate-the-Hummer fan club…
3. Truck trades!! I know someone who owns a biggish honking truck who doesn’t really seem to need one (she could easily rent one, or borrow one from a buddy from time to time) & I know someone else, who lives on a farm, who doesn’t own a truck & sure could use one. What about if them’s as what doesn’t really need a big, expensive, resource-intensive item (of any description) were to make her/his big, expensive, resource-intensive item (of any description) available to someone who actually does need it??? I guess we could just call it… sharing.
4. Golf has g-g-g-g-gotta go!!!! Golf…well…how can I say this without offending golf fans??? Guess I can’t, so I’ll just have to take the plunge (see disclaimer, above). Golf courses gobble up land that could be used for much more…useful purposes. They consume huge quantities of resources (water, electricity & nasty chemicals) for the mere amusement of people who could surely find better & cheaper (not to mention more truly exercise-y) ways to entertain themselves than this boring, ridiculous, anachronism of a … so-called sport…. (Jeez! But let me tell you what I really think about golf, eh??)
5. Beer: you gotta getta buzz!! Popped into a variety store & noticed there was some beer for sale there that doesn’t have any alcoholic content. Now what would be the point of that??? Benjamin Franklin said “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” (or so he is claimed to have said, on a placemat I saw at a certain restaurant in Toronto) – & I feel darn sure he wasn’t referring to non-alcoholic beer, ‘cos like I said, what the heck would be the point of that???
6. Men should be fun-er!! The “average” man one encounters seems to be a wee bit…shall we say, fun-challenged. (Some) men are so serious. They (at least seem to) take themselves oh-so seriously…don’t you think?? (Of course I know a bucketful of men who are really great guys – & I even had a boyfriend once upon a time with whom I enjoyed quite a few deliciously glorious belly laughs. And other things. But it all came to an abrupt end. Somehow, it suddenly became…un-fun? Okay. It was complicated. But on the whole, I stand by my assertion that some men could stand to laugh more – & to take themselves a good deal less seriously).
7. That death stare some women dish out sometimes has got to go!! What is that about?? I have a lot of wonderful women friends & we have a tendency when we’re out & about to laugh & carry on & have fun. I guess we get a little…noisy sometimes. Occasionally we get looked at with what my daughter & I once identified as “the Spanish death stare” – but clearly, it is employed not only by women in Spain. So, to death-stare-issuing women, I say this: “Hey, Lady. Lighten up already. No more death stares, pulleese!! Fun is … fun! Why not give it a try?? Turn up the corners of your mouth & let loose with a smile & LAUGH once in a while, already.”
8. We need to create an International Men’s Day!! On IMD, men would be instructed to ask 3 other men to describe what they are feeling… Answers would be required to go beyond the states of hungry, horny & mad… (Oh goodness me… If I am not really, really careful here, I will wind up becoming too serious…&, truth to tell, I am far too serious myself at least 95% of the time… maybe 98%???)
9. “You made my day!” is a phrase we could all stand to bandy about with much greater frequency. Hearing these words is liable to bring a smile to one’s face, & smiles lighten up our mood, & then we are liable to be a little more pleasant with whomever we next encounter, & … well, the world might be a good bit bit fun-er all around, don’t you think??
10. Ten: What if we all started watching less junk TV & more films that make us feel empowered – instead of … filled with despair?? Barb told me she saw a movie about a really cool organization called “BobbiBear” that is wildly inspiring & empowering. I know I’m pretty crazy about Michael Moore’s documentary “Capitalism: A Love Story” – it too is inspiring & empowering. (You can watch the whole movie here.) Ah, empowerment: a very, very lovely thing, hmmm?

Well, okay, enough already. 10 is a nice, round number to end on….

Janet

P.S. As regards item # 8, let me just add this: If any readers would be interested in an enhanced grasp on the what/when/how/why of male emotions, they could sure do worse than to pick up a copy of Calvin Sandborn’s great book Becoming the Kind Father – A Son’s Journey (Hint: fatherhood is definitely not required to make this book a true treasure to any reader; nor is maleness, even! Anyone & everyone on Planet Earth can benefit greatly from reading it. It’s a major gem!)

P.P.S. I know of at least 2 men who have a wonderfully amusing take on the ways of that mysterious creature, the human male. Dave Barry wrote an utterly hilarious book called Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys (seriously bust-a-gut funny; no kidding!!) & Barb tells me there’s a comedian called Jeff Foxworthy who has memorably explained that to understand what men are thinking, there are really only 4 possibilities: 1. I sure could use a sandwich! 2. A cold beer would go good with that. 3. I really need to get laid. 4. I wonder if there’s anything good on the sports channel?

Of course we all know plenty of men with much deeper thoughts than this…but that summary sure does bring on a grand chuckle!

‘Quote of the day’ w. this post:  “That older and greater church to which I belong: the church where the oftener you laugh the better, because by laughter only can you destroy evil without malice…” – George Bernard Shaw

Funny. I just went to “save” this document, & the words “divorce sucks” came into my mind…

I myself have been divorced for 11 years now (the marriage broke up 15 years ago). It’s not the thing I focus on so much these days in my thoughts, although I have to admit, for the first 3+ years of my new life as a single woman & half-time Mom (after 20 years of marriage & 14 of full-time motherhood), it was almost all I thought about. Thank goodness for time…& healing!!

And I’m not gonna lie to you. Years ago I drafted an essay called ‘Divorce: the fun never quits!’ – because when you have children & wind up divorced, it is sadly all too true that the far-reaching impacts of a divorce will never be entirely absent from your life. Divorce, you might say, the gift that keeps on giving…

Well. I don’t have all that much to say about it now. When I was going through it, I was often miserable – lonely, embarrassed & ashamed. It was distinctly un-fun, & absolutely without question, the most gutwrenching time, & experience, of my life.(1)

Fortunately, as mentioned above, time & healing do come. As Eckhart Tolle so wisely reminds us (it is such a useful phrase), “This too will pass.”

(I should also add that it was a number of so-called “simple” things that helped me get through. Walking, music, time with friends, the love of my daughters – &, eventually, once I came up for air – useful work/volunteer work. My friendships definitely grew both in number & in depth, & without those, I’d have just plain … faded away! Plato said “Your wealth is where your friends are,” & that’s the period of my life when I really “got” that, right down to my very bones…).

My main aim for this post is simply to pass along a recommendation for a book about divorce that I just read & can’t praise highly enough!

The book is called Falling Apart in One Piece – One Optimist’s Journey Through the Hell of Divorce, by Stacy Morrison.

I can’t say enough about this book! It’s well-written, searingly honest, & soooooo potentially helpful to anyone who is currently going down the dark road of divorce. I am truly inspired by how brutally honest Ms. Morrison is (about her own faults & failings, as well as those of her ex) & by how she & her (now ex) husband have managed to put aside their own neuroses, pain & unhappiness enough that they are doing an admirable job of co-parenting their son. I’ve always thought this to be the true test of a person’s mettle during a divorce: how classy & generous can you be – can you keep striving to be – for the sake of your children, the innocent & un-witting civilian “casualties” of your own personal little (not so little, of course) war?

Ahhhhhhhh.

So many of us going through this. So much pain, so much loss…

Heartbreaking, to say the very, very least…

I do strongly recommend that any & every reader get thee to a bookstore or library & buy or borrow this book, then share it around. I’d also hazard a guess that one does not have to have gone through a marriage break-up to be helped & inspired by this book.

Nietzsche said, “Sin is that which separates.”

Alienation & loneliness are pretty big players here on Planet Earth, hmmm? Books that make us feel less alone – that help us see how very, very not-alone we really are when we’re down in one of those Very Deep Pits(2) any & all of us can fall into… well…I can’t recommend such books highly enough!!

Janet

P.S. Several years ago I read a couple of novels by Tony Parsons. One of them was called Man and Boy. I recall feeling at the time that these books of his could be a great comfort to anyone going through a divorce…

‘Quote of the day’ w. this post: “It’s one of the secrets of the world. We all have the key to one another’s locks. But until we start to talk, we don’t know it.” – Michael Silverblatt, host of KCRW’s ‘Bookworm’ radio show